Friends, we need to have a conversation about dance belts.

First, what the heck is a dance belt? Well, I’m glad you asked. You know what you’re getting into when reading this blog, so we’ll be getting technical from here on out. We’re all adults.

This is a dance belt:

A dance belt. One of many sizes and colors.

It’s a supportive undergarment designed to support the penis of those who have them, usually during dance performances. It is intended to both keep the genitals in a manageable position and, relevant to our discussion here, reduce the appearance of visible penis outlines on tight-fitting garments.

Most dance belts are relatively affordable, machine-washable, and have elastic waistbands to conform to all body types. They are widely available on sites like Amazon, as well as other online stores that cater to the dance and theater professions.

Now, I’m not here to preach at you. I’m not here to tell you how to live your life. That’s all you. But heed my advice here: Visible penis lines on a tight-fitting outfit are probably not what you want in a totally public setting. And, depending on who you encounter, may result in you getting asked to change by event staff or venue staff.

Look, anyone reading this is probably aware that I’m definitely fine with seeing such sights on others (and myself), but the public spaces of a convention attended by those of all ages and sensibilities is probably not the best place to be sporting an unintended erection in your $3,000 film-accurate Spider-Man suit.

Get a dance belt. It won’t hurt you, and you don’t have to wear it to that special Spider-Man room party you’re attending later. Trust me, it’s a private party. They’ll want to see everything you got, if you feel like sharing.

Get a friggin’ dance belt.